Let me tell you something.., I feel like shit right now.! The reason I’m writing is just because I want to tell you something which is totally relevant. If you ask me what it’s like to be a single with lot of crap in the society and what’s it like to live with it, then I can probably argue on that.
Yet I can’t express them, since there are no god damn emotions left? And, the irony is I’m a writer . I feel so shallow and so burned up in my own world. I don’t have any human being around me to motivate, except for my wonderful dogs who are the reason behind my ambition. I still enjoy the privacy of my life and never find it empty. I can’t recognize myself anything less than ambitious. Usually my state of mind is so neutral that during moments of happiness I don’t feel happy. It’s just so normal for me. Any problem doesn’t scares me, I just deal with it somehow.
I don’t allow any emotions overrule my brain except for ambition, which is my absolute life-blood. So what am I – a goddamn ambitious vampire with red blood in veins? I’m pretty sure it’s not just me, but many of you out there trying to figure out what has killed emotions.
The irony is we’ve got lot of emoticons in smartphones and apps, which have gradually diminished in our real lives with time. Why? Because being emotional is so damn uncivilized to some and makes people uncomfortable.
Can you imagine it could be this silly? I can prove this.
Only yesterday I was travelling in a cab with my friend, and suddenly her mom calls him up. As an obedient daughter, she asked about her health and well-being, since she obviously cares about her. Next she reported him that she won’t eat, since she is alone and feeling lazy to cook for only herself. My friend insisted her mother to eat. So, she swore on her that if she(mother) doesn’t eats in an hour, she’d skip her meal too.
That was the scenario of the back seat. The driver soon got irritated, since I was observing the whole event, I could say he just plugged-in the headphones, because he wanted to ignore the mother-daughter emotional conversation. The driver found it uncomfortable or perhaps uncivilized to talk emotionally.
Another instance when we were returning from our trip yesterday, we had to share the cab and it was late, so we started talking about the movie we just saw. This driver was rather rude, as he really wanted to get rid of us. He drove rash on empty road, yet it didn’t stop our conversation. Then, he picked up another passenger who was shared the cab with us. We continued laughing and making fun of movies till the end of our trip. Now it was a two-on-two situation, both the other passenger and driver were feeling uncomfortable.
I later realized that people have become so robotic that they tend to act like Siri. I mean seriously?? If someone is uncomfortable by hearing/watching someone else laugh, then what the hell are they doing on earth? We’re human beings after all and deserve to have emotions in life.
If you want to laugh or cry, then there should be no shame in going public. Stopping yourself just because people around you will feel uncivilized is crazy. Just think, are you living for yourself or for others?